Rectal Feeding

An extremely obese woman shows up at her doctor's office crying and claims that she has tried every possible way to lose weight, all to no avail. She continues to sob, "My husband won't make love to me any more. My friends make fun of me. Everywhere I go they tease me. I just can't take it any more!"

The doctor, hoping to help her, proposes a radical diet ... rectal feeding. Reassuring the patient that she won't starve to death, the doctor explains that she'll actually take in enough nutrients, through the rectal walls, to sustain life and that she's sure to lose weight in the process.

Three weeks later the patient comes in for a follow-up appointment and she's down from her 360 pounds to a trim 110 pounds At first the doctor doesn't recognize her and asks his nurse, "Who is that beautiful lady in the waiting area?" The nurse reminds the doctor that she's the fat lady on the special, rectal diet.

The doctor show the patient into the exam room and notices that she is bouncing up and down and side to side quite energetically. The doctor asks how she's doing and if there was anything wrong. The patient replies, "I'm feeling great Doc. Never felt better!"

"In that case, why are you bouncing up and down and side to side?"

The patient replies, "Oh, that ... I'm just chewing gum."